You can't pour from an empty cup

It’s true when they say you can’t pour from an empty cup.

When you’re running on empty, you end up using more force, more energy than you need—just to get through the day.

It's why building the life you want feels so hard. Because you’re constantly pouring, pouring, and pouring into others until there’s nothing left of you. Stop that.

It shouldn’t feel this hard. And when it does, take a step back and ask yourself: How do I feel in this moment?

Because giving from a place of exhaustion isn’t actually helping anyone—not in the long run. And it’s certainly not helping you in the short term. We were taught that this is what selflessness looks like. But in reality, it’s not. It's why boundaries matter. It's why being consistent with them matters.

So, you start to heal. You pour into yourself. You treat yourself the way you should have always been treated.

Then, just when you think you’re making progress, you fall back into the trap.

And suddenly, you’re surrounded by those who have the audacity to want more.

You recognise them instantly—the narcissists, the energy vampires.

And so the cycle continues.

Breaking Free From the Cycle

Now, imagine this being your reality your entire life. Imagine what that does to your brain chemistry. Trauma rewires you. You feel trapped, sired to them, like you owe them something. Stockholm syndrome.

This is what it feels like to grow up in a toxic home. A never-ending loop of dysfunction. You feel like you need them, like you can’t leave. You feel stuck.

They drain you completely. You feel empty. And yet, the cycle continues.

Until it doesn’t.

One day, you talk to someone. And suddenly, you realise—this isn’t normal. You’re not the villain. You weren’t making it up. Your feelings are valid.

Then, you look at the mess of your life—all the missed opportunities, all the things you sacrificed for an energy that only drained you.

So, you create distance.

You find an outlet. A hobby. Coffee with a friend. Work. Something—anything—to look forward to.

You carve out small moments of peace, little by little, until you can remove the toxic presence from your life completely.

And then, you hold onto the truth—the unshakable truth—that better days are coming.

If all you’ve ever known is this toxic, never-ending cycle of dysfunction, then it’s time to rewire your brain. It won’t be easy. It may take days, months, years of unlearning. But it will be worth it.

Please, advocate for yourself. You deserve it.

You’re Not Alone. Get Support.

If this post resonates with you—if you’re exhausted, if you’re stuck in a toxic cycle—please know help is out there. You don’t have to figure this out on your own.

UK Helplines:

• Samaritans – 24/7 support, no judgment, just someone to listen.📞 Call 116 123 (free, always open)🌍 www.samaritans.org

• Mind – If your mental health is struggling, they’ve got you.📞 Call 0300 123 3393 (Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm)🌍 www.mind.org.uk

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) – If home doesn’t feel safe.📞 Call 0808 2000 247 (free, 24/7)🌍 www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

  
  

Not in the UK?

No matter where you are in the world, there’s help. Visit www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.

💛 You deserve support. You deserve peace. Please advocate for yourself—you are worth it.